On July 12th, 2010, my wife Dianna became overwhelmed by the insatiable appetite of depression and took her life. At that moment, my perception of the "normal" world I had inhabited over 57 years ended and now lays in pieces at my feet. What will follow will be my reflections on my efforts to pick up those pieces and see where they fit in my "New Normal". I have absolutely no idea where this journey will lead, but I know I must keep moving. I'll contine to blog at my http://www.mtponderings.blogspot.com/ site with everyday ruminations, but I'd like to keep this space for seeing how the new metaphorical roadmap unfolds ( or folds...).
I just heard an interview with Norton Juster who wrote "The Phantom Tollboth" 50 years ago, a book I still enjoyed as an adult about a kid who embarks on an adventure through a fanatasy land in an effort to rescue ( the princesses) Rhyme & Reason, discovering the power of words and numbers in the process. For my own purposes, I stand ready at the entrance to my tollboth...
When faced with a sudden significant unexpected experience, the mind has a wonderful coping mechanism that allows us to survive the shock and begin the process of understanding and accepting the event. Grief, in particular, elicts a sence of numbness and disbelief that helps protect the mental health of the affected individual during this process. In the first few days after Dianna's passing, I virtually slept-walked through the obligations but I knew there was no way to be emotionally present to acknowledge Dianna's impact on family and friends in the matter of a few days. She never felt that she was just her body, and as the ultimate recycler, she had always expressed her wishes for a simple cremation. Because of those wishes, I knew I would delay a memorial until later and her birthay at the end of August, seven weeks away, seemed appropriate. In the posts to follow, I'll discuss the events of the last eight weeks and see where all this leads. Thanks for your interest and support...
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