A "TRIP" Down Memory Lane...

I’m often called a “Date Savant”
And don’t consider it an unfriendly taunt
It only refers to things of the calendar
Since Socially I usually defer
Leaving other kind of dates I was rarely wont…


I've entered a time of significant dates
With a thirst of understanding that never sates
As I play back the past months and years
With the distorted reflections of memories mirrors
I’m nudged toward pondering the fates


It was with a high degree of elation
That we celebrated a multiple graduation
A Forty Year High School Reunion
Led to many acts of friendly communion
And I bade goodbye to my Sunset Drive location


The month will end with an Alaskan Cruise
Which will give me time to think and peruse
All the tumultuous events of the past year
Ending on the birthday of the one I held dear
So I will use all of these events to enliven my Muse



The time between July 12th and August 30th is filled with memories over the last 50 years and this 7 week period has brought many of them into sharp focus. For the last 39 years, I’ve always engaged in a game of “What was I doing when” during this time of year as I would bore anyone with earshot of “Tales from the Trip of 1972”, 8500 mile odyssey Ken, I, and “Dolly Dart” embarked on from Aug 18th -Sep 17th during the summer after my freshman year at Stanford. It was less Kerouac and more Kuralt (“On the Road..”) but it shaped many of my views and due to my daily journaling, seared many of my memories in place. I would have been sitting with Jay G in Dodger Stadium watching Bob Gibson of the Cardinals beat LA and tomorrow Ken and I would be guests of Teri during a day at Disneyland.
Forty years ago Dianna and I had graduated from Medford, so this years reunion had special significance since we had returned at our 30th to celebrate our marriage 4 years earlier. Larry arranged a chance for use to get together with the Fergusons so we could reconnect with our 1st grade teacher from Wilson who I credit with awakening a love of learning that I still practice and encouraging Marcus, Larry and me to realize much of our potential. It takes a special teacher to see what talents a student might have, especially when the student doesn’t see it. I’m always especially grateful for Ginny Ferguson, Denny Bateman who wrote “Go to Stanford” in my 7th grade yearbook and jumpstarted my academic career and Edna Stewart, the Transcendentalist English teacher that Dianna & I had junior year, who planted ideas that eventually would blossom once Dianna & I re-met
The reunion itself was a non-stop cavalcade of bemusement recognition, appreciation and connection. Karen G came up to me and thanked me for a valentine I had given her and said she considered me her first” boyfriend”.. I pointed out that information would have been useful in 1965 since it might have changed the arc of my dating career. The real story was I give out 2 valentines and my dear friend Scott noticed the 2nd one and brought it to everyone’s attention. At that point, oblivious to Karen’s interest, , I decided to not put myself in socially awkward situations ,and spent the rest of my secondary education focusing on academics and sports – the rest is history.. I bounced around acting like an interpreter as I overheard people wondering how they knew each other and I would tell them what classes then had together, who they dated, and other mundane details until flashes of recognition crossed faces. The mistake I made was not circulating more and connecting with more people. I did get a lot of kind comments and memories about Dianna which was sweet. We all recognized we need to get together more often since we already have too many people on our Memory Board.
PSU Graduation was the next big event as Merry, Eamonn, and Leah all walked in the Summer ceremony and made me feel like I had 3 kids graduating. I know how much work Merry put in to finishing and nobody could be prouder of her accomplishments other than Dianna. We had a big celebration at Sunset afterward with Eamonn’s parents, Leah’s parents and Merry’s dad, along with a quick visit from Evan prior to his return to New Orleans to continue his wetland restoration work now as a graduate assistant at UNO and to start the Masters program in Jazz Piano. The usual Hillsdale friends and neighbors popped in and the event allowed me to say goodbye to Sunset Drive as I will sign papers tomorrow to sell it to Nathan, who grew up with Sean and has fond memories of time spent in the house and clubhouse. He and Lindsay and their little one are eager for a Hillsdale home of their own and I can feel good about turning the house over to “family”.

I’m now on the eve of the final event of the “First Year”, the Alaska Cruise celebrating Loren & Veneta’s 60th anniversary with Dave, Brad, Judy and the girls. I look forward to rest relaxation, entertainment and closure as I prepare for the “Year of Seconds” as the cruise ends on what would have been Dianna's 58th birthday Stay tuned..

PAST is PROLOGUE

Some of us spend time too much time looking back
And focusing on those things we currently lack
Instead of facing forward and greeting the day
Open to the mysteries that might come our way
To send our life off on a revelatory all-new tack.

Each day marks the passing of a past event
And time doesn’t always show us what was meant
Of what at first might be seem to be only joy or sorrow
But turns out to permutate at some future tomorrow
Into a life - changing lesson that is heaven sent.


My muse has been hibernating much like Punxsutawney Phil and with this cool damp spring hasn’t been sure when to shake off the doldrums. I’m in a cleaning and organizing mode now where I’m reducing my outside activities and trying to some sense of alignment from the inside out – this will definitely be a work in progress.
Anniversaries are top of mind as I now am only 4 weeks away from the end of “First Times” after Dianna’s passing. I knew I wasn’t ready to journey back to Hawaii for our usual February vacation, but when I last wrote in January I was looking forward to a marathon golf outing with Larry in March before he attended the Masters. Plans changed when his knee realized it was 58 while demonstrating a move to an Air Force Academy wrestler. I had still hoped to visit Mary in Dallas on the way, so I juggled my schedule and got to spend a long enjoyable weekend at her ranch. Fortunately, only the dogs, horses, and chickens were witness to two 57 year-olds flying kites in the brisk Texas wind.
I followed 2 weeks later with a visit to LA to both check in with college buddies Scott, Kevin, and Jay and attend the Revelation conference with my friend Deb. The conference was filled with insights and ah-ha’s and I was able to hook up with Kevin and his son for afternoon StL-LA game in a seat behind home plate. Scott & Jay were busy so I’ll check in with them next time. The end of April saw Sean and I make the pilgrimage to land of Evan in NOLA and JazzFest where we got to see New Orleans through Evan’s eyes Sean was ready to move down after the first night as the guys checked out the late night shows after full days at JazzFest. I came to the realization that, in contrast to musical connection STP & ECP have, I am pretty tone deaf when it comes to “getting” music. I’m a singer-songwriter kind of guy which points out it’s all about the words – Gordon Lightfoot has never been accused of writing amazing melodies but his lyrics are poetry.
Evan showed us a great time and our stay at the Rose Manor B&B owned by friends of his was restful and enjoyable. A visit to New Orleans always means good food from beignets to alligator soup to jambalaya and we even found a place that only served pork products Cochon, a restaurant that I saw featured on the Food Channel – the Black Eyed Pea and Pork Gumbo was especially good. It looks like if I’m going to see Evan much, I’ll have to return as rumor has it he will be a graduate assistant at the University of New Orleans continuing his wetland restoration work and possibly a student in the Masters of Jazz Studies program for piano. News travels slowly from down south, so I’m awaiting confirmation. As a result Evan won’t be able to go on the Alaska cruise with me which will end on Dianna’s birthday and in my mind will allow me to close the first year chapter.
I finished my wandering with a trip with John and Sally to Victoria as the 4 of us often did. The Church of Truth across the street from our condo held a Healing Circle of Rememberance on Mothers Day for those who had lost loved ones and it truly was healing. We walked many of the places our quartet had visited and I left a little of Dianna at the lighthouse at the entrance to the Inner Harbour and in a tulip bed near the Empress. I'll visit again when the cruise ship stops in August.
The June through August time frame also hold some significant events that I am ready to honor no matter what emotional weight they may bring. Last Saturday was the 40th anniversary of my high school graduation from Medford and I accepted an invite from the reunion planning committee for a Portland-area BBQ. It was really under the guise of a “girls” weekend as the much admired former rally squad members gathered for a weekend of wine-tasting planning and all around run. Even though we ran in different circles in high school (mine was square..),I was welcomed into the group with kindness and compassion for an evening of laughter and reminiscing. I wish I had listened more than talked but it’s nice to able to debrief with those who shared a common path with Dianna & me. Since Dianna and I met at our 20th reunion and celebrated our marriage at our 30th, the 40th will be challenging but much less so after my evening of Grumpy & The Snow Whites!” (see picture above)
Tomorrow marks the 36th anniversary of my Stanford graduation and 36 hours later I received a phone call sending me to Portland for my first job. The picture above is some of the gang from our freshman dorm of Cardenal. A week from today would have been Anniversary 14 and last year we went to Ted & Meg’s Beach house with Sean & Dani, Evan & Mona, and Merry to celebrate Fathers Day and our anniversary. How things change in a year. Then today I get the news that Dianna & Brenda’s cousin Darlene passed away this morning after attending their granddaughter’s high school graduation in Nevada. Ironically, a year ago yesterday we were in Sutherlin helping them celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
July 12th is 4 weeks away and I’m still not sure how I’ll mark that day. I know it won’t be at work, but I’m thinking that a hike to Dianna’s favorite waterfalls Ramona Falls might be therapeutic. I hiked it with Scott & Rick in 1975 and 1984, during the latter carrying a 4 year old Sean the last half mile… I’ll carry on the Red, White & Blue sundae tradition at the Farmers Market the week prior and may visit Silver Falls as we often did on the 4th of July.
I’ll be writing again during July with as of yet undiscovered insights…