A "TRIP" Down Memory Lane...

I’m often called a “Date Savant”
And don’t consider it an unfriendly taunt
It only refers to things of the calendar
Since Socially I usually defer
Leaving other kind of dates I was rarely wont…


I've entered a time of significant dates
With a thirst of understanding that never sates
As I play back the past months and years
With the distorted reflections of memories mirrors
I’m nudged toward pondering the fates


It was with a high degree of elation
That we celebrated a multiple graduation
A Forty Year High School Reunion
Led to many acts of friendly communion
And I bade goodbye to my Sunset Drive location


The month will end with an Alaskan Cruise
Which will give me time to think and peruse
All the tumultuous events of the past year
Ending on the birthday of the one I held dear
So I will use all of these events to enliven my Muse



The time between July 12th and August 30th is filled with memories over the last 50 years and this 7 week period has brought many of them into sharp focus. For the last 39 years, I’ve always engaged in a game of “What was I doing when” during this time of year as I would bore anyone with earshot of “Tales from the Trip of 1972”, 8500 mile odyssey Ken, I, and “Dolly Dart” embarked on from Aug 18th -Sep 17th during the summer after my freshman year at Stanford. It was less Kerouac and more Kuralt (“On the Road..”) but it shaped many of my views and due to my daily journaling, seared many of my memories in place. I would have been sitting with Jay G in Dodger Stadium watching Bob Gibson of the Cardinals beat LA and tomorrow Ken and I would be guests of Teri during a day at Disneyland.
Forty years ago Dianna and I had graduated from Medford, so this years reunion had special significance since we had returned at our 30th to celebrate our marriage 4 years earlier. Larry arranged a chance for use to get together with the Fergusons so we could reconnect with our 1st grade teacher from Wilson who I credit with awakening a love of learning that I still practice and encouraging Marcus, Larry and me to realize much of our potential. It takes a special teacher to see what talents a student might have, especially when the student doesn’t see it. I’m always especially grateful for Ginny Ferguson, Denny Bateman who wrote “Go to Stanford” in my 7th grade yearbook and jumpstarted my academic career and Edna Stewart, the Transcendentalist English teacher that Dianna & I had junior year, who planted ideas that eventually would blossom once Dianna & I re-met
The reunion itself was a non-stop cavalcade of bemusement recognition, appreciation and connection. Karen G came up to me and thanked me for a valentine I had given her and said she considered me her first” boyfriend”.. I pointed out that information would have been useful in 1965 since it might have changed the arc of my dating career. The real story was I give out 2 valentines and my dear friend Scott noticed the 2nd one and brought it to everyone’s attention. At that point, oblivious to Karen’s interest, , I decided to not put myself in socially awkward situations ,and spent the rest of my secondary education focusing on academics and sports – the rest is history.. I bounced around acting like an interpreter as I overheard people wondering how they knew each other and I would tell them what classes then had together, who they dated, and other mundane details until flashes of recognition crossed faces. The mistake I made was not circulating more and connecting with more people. I did get a lot of kind comments and memories about Dianna which was sweet. We all recognized we need to get together more often since we already have too many people on our Memory Board.
PSU Graduation was the next big event as Merry, Eamonn, and Leah all walked in the Summer ceremony and made me feel like I had 3 kids graduating. I know how much work Merry put in to finishing and nobody could be prouder of her accomplishments other than Dianna. We had a big celebration at Sunset afterward with Eamonn’s parents, Leah’s parents and Merry’s dad, along with a quick visit from Evan prior to his return to New Orleans to continue his wetland restoration work now as a graduate assistant at UNO and to start the Masters program in Jazz Piano. The usual Hillsdale friends and neighbors popped in and the event allowed me to say goodbye to Sunset Drive as I will sign papers tomorrow to sell it to Nathan, who grew up with Sean and has fond memories of time spent in the house and clubhouse. He and Lindsay and their little one are eager for a Hillsdale home of their own and I can feel good about turning the house over to “family”.

I’m now on the eve of the final event of the “First Year”, the Alaska Cruise celebrating Loren & Veneta’s 60th anniversary with Dave, Brad, Judy and the girls. I look forward to rest relaxation, entertainment and closure as I prepare for the “Year of Seconds” as the cruise ends on what would have been Dianna's 58th birthday Stay tuned..

A Year of Magical Thinking - A Grief Observed

The need for closure to Year One firmly calls
Even if my brisk hike may be slowed to some crawls
My awareness and perception have sometimes lagged
As I often Zigged when I should have Zagged
So for Dianna, I will take the path to Ramona Falls

I've thought long and hard and now I reckon
It's time to grasp opportunities as they beckon
I don't know what form they'll appear
But I'm ready to shed all my fear
As I move in to the unfolding year of second




365 times the sun has apparently risen and set. My view of the moon has gone from new to full a dozen times and twice have have day and night equally balanced. I have endured the longest night and survived the longest day, our 14th anniversary on June 21st to arrive on July 12th, 2011. One year ago I left Dianna on a Monday with a kiss and an acknowlegement of love and returned 4 hours later to find her gone, taking the only path she thought she had available.

My world and the shared world of her friends and family changed instantly and forever and I've been using much of the last year discovering how to accept, embrace, and move forward into this new reality. New friends have appeared (even today), old friends resurfaced, steadfast friends and family have offered a hand or hug and acquaintances have showed patience and compassion as I have I tried to make sense of something that doesn't follow rational rules.

The title of this entry is from reflections of fellow travelers Joan Didion and C.S. Lewis who lost their spouses. Joan Didion, whose husband John Dunne passed away at dinner after visiting their adult daughter who was in a coma, opens her book with the words:

Life changes fast
Life changes in a instant
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.
The question of self pity.

What follows is a raw and revealing look at bereavement and the process of grief as she describes the "magical thinking" which makes a intelligent rational person re-visit choices and play out scenarios in the hopes that outcomes will be different. If only this.. or if only that.. She also says we feel the need to "keep the dead alive to keep them with us.."

CS Lewis married at 58 and lost his wife due to cancer after only 4 years and shares his fears and doubts as he comes to terms with his experience of grief. He describes the fear and inertia that is prevalant early on and the feeling that "staying busy" and not fogetting your beloved are your main tasks. He eventually comes to terms with the ideas that bereavement is as much a stage of marriage as the honeymoon and that the relationship between the living and departed has to be established as something new, not just relying on the vagaries of memory or the vestiges of photos or writing to keep the other "alive". He felt the more he focused on what had been lost with the parting, the less he could celebrate the gifts that had come from his relationship which now become something different.

I've had a lot of time to read and reflect and many people have shared the experiences in word and deed on how they have dealt with loss and it rminds me it is both a shared journey and a singularly unique path where others advice only takes you so far. As a result and in honor of my metaphoric journey, I arose on July 12th, headed toward Mt Hood, turned left at ZigZag and embarked on an 7.1 mile hike to Ramona Falls, the first hike Dianna and I took together.

"The dazzling, picturesque Ramona Falls stands like a fountain centerpiece at the front of a wooded cathedral. The water appears as if from nowhere a hundred feet above you and fans out like a wedding veil to the creek bed below. As it trickles and ricochets off the basaltic rock-face, it gives it a glowing, almost phosphorescent appearance. This illusion is especially noticeable when the alder canopy allows the evening sun rays to pass through, like a spotlight on a great work of art."

The hike is supposed to be a simple straight forward 3 hour hike but 1/2 hour in I noticed some branches blocking my path and hopped over and continued my journey, eventually encountering evil flesh tearing plants and a path that kept disappearing and reappearing. I stayed close to the river looking for the bridge and now am an hour out walking the riverbed. As I start to tun back, an angel named Heather and a St. Bernard in the guise of a black lab come to the rescue. She had followed the same path and we found our way back although my new water bottle was lost during the return trip. Right at the pile of branches, a well marked path hairpined down to the water and the temporary bridge. Heather is a fellow SW Portlander and fan of Hillsdale and we have friends in common, so I quickly felt like I had a friend joining me on my journey. The falls appeared even more beautiful and we took a snack break and "soaked in" the view. I had time to reflect on my trips with Dianna to these falls and then I was ready to head home. The path along the river has a lush Japanese Garden feel and look to it and with gravity as my friend we sailed down the trail. We came to a horse fence and passed through to find a dead end so we made our second mistake of the day and headed toward a marked hikers bridge, made a river crossing and started climbing toward what we thought would lead us back to the main river. After about a 500 foot elevation game and the better part of an hour I ran out of gas and we reconsidered our options and reversed course. In hindsight, we realized we were heading along the Pacific Crest Trail in the direction of Mt. Hood which was stilla bout 15 miles away. Once again we returned to find an obvious trail leading in the right direction and we finally arrived back at the trailhead at 6:00. We both felt we had experienced elements of "Into the Wild" and "127 Hours" but were grateful for the successful completion and I appreciated the metaphor of getting off track even if you have a traveling companion. Once again , I thank Heather for showing up when she did.

I was supposed to meet at Judys by late afternoon for a tamale feed and I showed up bedraggled by 7:15. Loren & Veneta had stayed so I was able to spend time with them and Judy & the girls. I returned home to a reinvigorating shower and then picked up a message from Rick S to join him at Dianna's bench at 9:30. Meg was also there and as the full moon arced across the sky we lit a candle for Dianna and sat in rememberance. Onward to the year of seconds...

PAST is PROLOGUE

Some of us spend time too much time looking back
And focusing on those things we currently lack
Instead of facing forward and greeting the day
Open to the mysteries that might come our way
To send our life off on a revelatory all-new tack.

Each day marks the passing of a past event
And time doesn’t always show us what was meant
Of what at first might be seem to be only joy or sorrow
But turns out to permutate at some future tomorrow
Into a life - changing lesson that is heaven sent.


My muse has been hibernating much like Punxsutawney Phil and with this cool damp spring hasn’t been sure when to shake off the doldrums. I’m in a cleaning and organizing mode now where I’m reducing my outside activities and trying to some sense of alignment from the inside out – this will definitely be a work in progress.
Anniversaries are top of mind as I now am only 4 weeks away from the end of “First Times” after Dianna’s passing. I knew I wasn’t ready to journey back to Hawaii for our usual February vacation, but when I last wrote in January I was looking forward to a marathon golf outing with Larry in March before he attended the Masters. Plans changed when his knee realized it was 58 while demonstrating a move to an Air Force Academy wrestler. I had still hoped to visit Mary in Dallas on the way, so I juggled my schedule and got to spend a long enjoyable weekend at her ranch. Fortunately, only the dogs, horses, and chickens were witness to two 57 year-olds flying kites in the brisk Texas wind.
I followed 2 weeks later with a visit to LA to both check in with college buddies Scott, Kevin, and Jay and attend the Revelation conference with my friend Deb. The conference was filled with insights and ah-ha’s and I was able to hook up with Kevin and his son for afternoon StL-LA game in a seat behind home plate. Scott & Jay were busy so I’ll check in with them next time. The end of April saw Sean and I make the pilgrimage to land of Evan in NOLA and JazzFest where we got to see New Orleans through Evan’s eyes Sean was ready to move down after the first night as the guys checked out the late night shows after full days at JazzFest. I came to the realization that, in contrast to musical connection STP & ECP have, I am pretty tone deaf when it comes to “getting” music. I’m a singer-songwriter kind of guy which points out it’s all about the words – Gordon Lightfoot has never been accused of writing amazing melodies but his lyrics are poetry.
Evan showed us a great time and our stay at the Rose Manor B&B owned by friends of his was restful and enjoyable. A visit to New Orleans always means good food from beignets to alligator soup to jambalaya and we even found a place that only served pork products Cochon, a restaurant that I saw featured on the Food Channel – the Black Eyed Pea and Pork Gumbo was especially good. It looks like if I’m going to see Evan much, I’ll have to return as rumor has it he will be a graduate assistant at the University of New Orleans continuing his wetland restoration work and possibly a student in the Masters of Jazz Studies program for piano. News travels slowly from down south, so I’m awaiting confirmation. As a result Evan won’t be able to go on the Alaska cruise with me which will end on Dianna’s birthday and in my mind will allow me to close the first year chapter.
I finished my wandering with a trip with John and Sally to Victoria as the 4 of us often did. The Church of Truth across the street from our condo held a Healing Circle of Rememberance on Mothers Day for those who had lost loved ones and it truly was healing. We walked many of the places our quartet had visited and I left a little of Dianna at the lighthouse at the entrance to the Inner Harbour and in a tulip bed near the Empress. I'll visit again when the cruise ship stops in August.
The June through August time frame also hold some significant events that I am ready to honor no matter what emotional weight they may bring. Last Saturday was the 40th anniversary of my high school graduation from Medford and I accepted an invite from the reunion planning committee for a Portland-area BBQ. It was really under the guise of a “girls” weekend as the much admired former rally squad members gathered for a weekend of wine-tasting planning and all around run. Even though we ran in different circles in high school (mine was square..),I was welcomed into the group with kindness and compassion for an evening of laughter and reminiscing. I wish I had listened more than talked but it’s nice to able to debrief with those who shared a common path with Dianna & me. Since Dianna and I met at our 20th reunion and celebrated our marriage at our 30th, the 40th will be challenging but much less so after my evening of Grumpy & The Snow Whites!” (see picture above)
Tomorrow marks the 36th anniversary of my Stanford graduation and 36 hours later I received a phone call sending me to Portland for my first job. The picture above is some of the gang from our freshman dorm of Cardenal. A week from today would have been Anniversary 14 and last year we went to Ted & Meg’s Beach house with Sean & Dani, Evan & Mona, and Merry to celebrate Fathers Day and our anniversary. How things change in a year. Then today I get the news that Dianna & Brenda’s cousin Darlene passed away this morning after attending their granddaughter’s high school graduation in Nevada. Ironically, a year ago yesterday we were in Sutherlin helping them celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
July 12th is 4 weeks away and I’m still not sure how I’ll mark that day. I know it won’t be at work, but I’m thinking that a hike to Dianna’s favorite waterfalls Ramona Falls might be therapeutic. I hiked it with Scott & Rick in 1975 and 1984, during the latter carrying a 4 year old Sean the last half mile… I’ll carry on the Red, White & Blue sundae tradition at the Farmers Market the week prior and may visit Silver Falls as we often did on the 4th of July.
I’ll be writing again during July with as of yet undiscovered insights…

The Social Network..

I search for a new theme as the decade of the "Aughts" ends
Something that will help me navigate Life's twists and bends
We have an innate predilection
To find our connection
So as Mr. Rogers said, "Will you be one of my friends?"


It's been over 100 days since the last post but it's not due to lack of activity. In honor of Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's founder, TIME's Person of the Year, and subject of the recent movie "The Social Network", I figured this entry would explore the conjecture, conjunction and camaraderie of the last 3 1/2 months.

When we last left the hero of the latter-day Homerian tale ( which seems to combine elements of both The Odyssey and The Simpsons), I was poised to reconnect with my Stanford friends at my 35th reunion. From the time I touched down until I left, I was able to pick up conversations from where we left off weather my last contact was 35 days or 35 years - it was nice to not have to "tell my story" as people welcomed me back. There should be a different word to describe relationships that seem unaffected by time or distance - in any event, the weekend was restorative as we got to hang out on campus, watch Stanford win a game in the downsized upgraded stadium with Scott's son Garrett playing in the band, and get a campus tour with Marta, Mark & Greta's oldest daughter. I got to hang out with Ann, Amy, Diane, Dori, Greta, Jay, Kevin, Mary, Scott, Teri and Vince with the backdrop of the SF Giant's push toward the World Series (all were happy except Kevin, our die-hard Philly fan), and came home refreshed and rejuvenated.

Throughout the Fall, I continued my "Mystery Date with Mike" with a variety of concerts, lectured, movies, dinners, and discussions that all served to get me out of the condo and engaged with others. One of my projects was to install a fireplace and rearrange the living room, so with Wayne's efforts, a fireplace mantle and suspended flatscreen TV provide a comfortable place for "fireside chats " with myself. This made it important to find a balance between too much "me"time and over scheduling myself.

I got to attend Lightfoot and Basia concerts as well as Mark's Acoustic Guitar Summit with Roy & Sherryl, Judy and the girls, and Brenda & Wayne, meet with our Environmental Book Club, hear Bill Bryson, sit on the Board for "Dorothy's Dream", continue our search for the best Portland burger with Ted, Rick & Frank, see "The Christmas Story" twice, hear the Portland Gospel Choir, watch "Charles Browns Mid- Life Crisis" and then attend Sean's Reeble Jar performance at Mt. Tabor later that same night, watch the "Big Game" with Greta at the Buffalo Gap, and watch the Civil War and BCS at Mary Pat's. TM had brought Mary Pat and Donna to Dianna's Memorial, so the 4 of us have had a few chances to get together which has been fun. I hosted the an Orange Bowl viewing on New Years Night and served Orange Chicken and rice (Orange Bowls) and in honor of Stanford's opponent Virginia Tech, dessert was creampuffs. Stanford prevailed 40-12 to cap a 12-1 season.

In the midst of all of this, Evan was able to make it home from New Orleans for a week so I had a great time just sitting with him for a "Sit Down Young Stranger" moment. We watched a Netflix movie "Hurricane on the Bayou" which Evan narrated since he knew many of the locations and people. Evan used his time here to relax and recharge so I think he had a good visit. Evan is getting some good PR for his work, but I only find out by Googling him..
http://www.dailycomet.com/article/20101004/articles/101009737

I attended the usual Christmas Eve Soup Supper, this time hosted by Loren & Veneta and attended the candlelight service at NTCSL in Lake Oswego and went home to greet Christmas morning alone for the first time in 58 opportunities. Another one of those odd new experiences I need to assimilate. To ring in the New Year, I went to Ted & Meg's and was encouraged to bring a Top Ten List for the departing 2010. I picked Top 10 Smartphone apps since I had been coming up to speed with my new Samsung Captivate, and it seemed like a good 21st century theme. My items covered the ability of the phone to decipher songs, identify objects, make location specific suggestions for travel and entertainment through GPS, browse the internet, read e-mail, read books, watch TV, listen to music, put you to sleep and wake you up , and most amazingly, make phone calls.

As the new year began I continued my pattern of activity like hanging out at the Farmers Market, but at the end of the month recognized the importance of valuing each day as I attended Memorial services for Ginger & Jeff on consecutive days. Mary flew up to do the service for Ginger, her long time friend and assistant, on Jan 22nd but that previous Monday, Jeff never woke up, so Dani asked Mary to do that memorial. Both services told of great love stories as both couples met in college and had wonderful lives together. Through a slide show and music, I learned a lot about two amazing people who left far too soon...

Ended the month with A Blazer game with Loren. a root canal and a couple of rounds of golf as I come out of hiberation. I enjoyed at least one of these activities..

I've redoubled my effort to say "yes: to more things that life is offering and one of those things which may be questioned as the year progresses is a week long golf romp through Alabama at the end of March with Larry. The plan is 216 holes of golf in a week - 12 rounds in 6 days along the Robert Trent Jones Trail . Larry will be attending the Masters the following week, so he figures this will get him in the mood. By my calculations this will be between 500-600 full swings for me, not counting putts, chips, and practice swings. This will require a level of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual stamina that I haven't been on a first name basis with this century so there is work ahead of me. I also intend to attend the New Orleans Jazzfest with Evan & Sean at the end of April so I have another event for which to look forward. Our 40th Medford High School reunion is coming up in August and e-mails are already passing back and forth between attendees.

2011 arrives with infinite possibilities and I continue my search. Because of my experiences of the last last seven months, I have new friends who have shown up and old friends who have seamlessly reconnected. I look forward to exploring and strengthening those friendships in the coming months.

Journeys continue with Single Steps

The past week was filled with activity that ended with our metaphorically appropriate sun-blessed "Out of the Darkness" fundraising walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention which we walked in Dianna's memory.

http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.team&eventID=1023&teamID=19482

About 800 people participated and took a 3 mile stroll along Waterfront Park past Saturday Market, across the railroad deck of the Steel Bridge, along the Eastback Esplanade and back across the Hawthorne Bridge all in less than 90 minutes. The local chapter of the AFSP raised over $50k and Team Dianna is on track to exceed $2k with donations still being accepted through year end. It was sobering to see such a long line of people of all ages who are walking a similar path with me. Judy & Sophia came up with the idea and I think I can speak for Judy, Sophia, Linda U, Rick, LeeLa, and Linda C in saying we're all glad we took part.

On Monday it was time for the first of our monthly "Boys Night Out for Burgers" in which an intrepid group of carnivores attempt to "weigh in" on Willamette Week's assessment of the best burgers in Portland. Our initial adeventure involved Ted, Rick, Frank, Owen, and me and after a failed effort at Tasty & Sons in NE we ended up at Metrovino, the #1 choice. We agreed "The King is Dead" as we weren't wowed by the $13 burger. I'm ready to write in the "Three Square Grill" offering.

Tuesday I went over to celebrate Brenda and Wayne's marriage with Merry & Eamonn, and Wayne's son Jake and got do see photo documentation of the Belknap festivities. They headed to Maui Thursday morning for 2 weeks of Maui Wowie...

Wednesday was "An Iliad" at PCS with Meg and we both though it was a powerful anti-war piece. It was a one man performance where he assumed the role of "The Poet" and reflected in detail on the Trojan War but refereced the hundred wars since.

Thursday I had lunch with Carrie, a former condo neighbor and fellow Stanford grad who teaches yoga and as part of the development of the "new" me, I wanted to explore the possibilities of some yoga classes. We had an enjoyable discussion and will continue it after I return form my upcoming Stanford adventures.

With colder weather approaching, I've been thinking of replacing the defective fireplace in the condo and saw some adds for some good deals. I talke to NW Natural on Friday and went out to NE 142nd on Saturday where Rick & I conviently had scheduled a round at Glendoveer. I liked what I saw and picked a modest model which should get installed in the next few weeks and I can start my version of "Fireside Chats". We had a beautiful day for golf and were a combined 1 under par through 6 holes before I started to falter. Rick ended up with a 37-40 and I had a 39-45 so I took my ad off Craiglist to sell my clubs...

Saturday was a fundraiser for the American Friends Society (Quakers) Peace & Justice Group courtesy of Rick Seifert at Artist's Rep for a performance of "The Hillsboro Story", a fascinating tale of a a small Ohio town's reaction tot the 1954 Brown V Board of Education decision ushering in begrudging desegregation as remembered by an 8 year old. It was told through the efforts of a cast of 4 actresses who played all the parts and the author was present as the main character. The had a talkback with the audience afterwards which was illuminating. It plays for a few more weeks and I highly recommend it.

Sunday for the 2nd week in a row, I took Dave & Mary to the SE Portland Self Realization Fellowship which is based on the teachings of Parmahansa Yogananda. thought that was a great way to prepare myself for the walk as I know Dianna had enjoyed her visits there. Judy picked up and we made it down in time for our 2:OO walk..

I'll leave Thursday for my Stanford Reunion and am really looking forward to reconnecting with a lot of folks. I'll return to Portland Sunday much like I did 35 years ago, unsure of what the future holds, but optomistic none the less. I'll at least retuen with a new Stanford hat...

"Out of the Darkness"

On Sunday a group of us will be partipating in a fund-raising walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's "Out of the Darkness" event in downtown Portland. Judy & Sophia proposed outr involvement and we have been overwhelmed by the support and contributions "TEAM DIANNA" has received. There is no cost to join us on the walk from 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM (walking is only about 3 miles from the Portland Marriott to the Steel Bridge, along the EastBank Esplanade, and back across the Hawthorne Bridge which should be about a 90 minute stroll)

Details are included in this link...

http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=1023&participantID=144398

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything

Fans of Douglas Adam's 1970's classic, "Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy" will remember the ultimate answer to the ultimate question was... 42, or for those binarially predisposed, 101010.

As I have been in the process of searching for meaning, this feels like a good theme, particularly today. The last dozen days have been an interesting exploration of the new landscape I'm encountering. Wednesday September 29th marked the start of Portland Center Stages new season and the first play was "Sunset Boulevard", an ironic title due to my regular travels uo SW Sunset Blvd to SW Sunset Drive. ( in an odd postsript to today, a small plane made a sucessful emergency landing on the Robert Gray Middle School field at 7:00 PM tonight, a 100 yards from my Susnet house..) I have a 10 play package of 2 seats for this season in our newly requested 2nd row ccenter, so I decided to initiate what I'm calling.. "Mystery Date with Mike", a program to encourafe me to get out and about on a regular basis. I plan on buying at least two tickets to all events and then cajole someone into attending with me. For Sunset Boulevard, I asked Jim T., who was Dianna's prom date in high school and the reason Dianna stopped me at our 20th reunion, as she thought I might have his number. As expected for a guy born 411, I'm the right guy to call for information, the more obscure the better. Jim lives in the Pearl so I grabbed pizza at Hot Lips and we dined on his balcony and then walked over to enjoy the classic play.

The weekend brought Ted's annual Tokatee golf classic so we headed up Friday morning for 3 days of golf, food, fun, freindship. We had perfect fall weather and after starting with a 42!, I slipped to a 46 and went into rapid decline the rest of the weekend. Rick drove up for the day and we partnered with Dave K. to win a scramble although my only contribution was with my putter. Some of us went to Belknap Hot Springs afterward on Saturday which was especially poignant for me due to Dianna's family's strong bond with the place and many fond memories. This time last year Dianna, Gail, and Merry were up celebrating Merry's birthday and visited us, and today Brenda & Wayne got married there with Merry & Eamonn in attendance. After soaking we returned to watch half of a good football game with the second half being complete domination of Stanford by the Ducks. Saturday morning I contributed "Dutch Babies " for breakfast and Ted BBQ's some brisket with corn, scalloped potatoes, and a chocolate torte rounding out the meal. Sunday saw me struggle to break 100 while Ted shot his best round ever, an 81, so moods of the participants ran the gamut. I drove my car back since one of Ted's friend needed a way down after a delayed plane connection, so I used the opportunity to visit Sean and switch cars so I could register the Honda in Portland. We had dinner and then I headed back home in the approaching rain to prepare for a new week.

Monday night I received the sad news that my Stanford girlfriend's son had passed away from an inoperable brain tumor after a courageous and inspired 10 month fight. His sister had blogged about the journey... ( http://kickingkevinscancer.blogspot.com/ ) and I had written how inspired I felt many who be who read the story of how the family dealt with this, and then in July wrote that I was drawing strength and encouragement for my own journey from their example, including the value of blogging about it.) Her husband is a classmate of mine and I hope a have a chance to briefly connect with them in 2 weeks when I go down to my reunion.

Saturday was Evan's 23rd birthday and Merry followed on Tuesday, but I didn't get a chance to connect until later in the week. Merry and I had dinner on Thusday at City Thai and Evan and I finally connected by phone on the weekend. Sean switched cars back Tuesday night and we ate quickly before he had to head back down to work a 9:00 show. He's been spending a lot of time in the studio, as a member of his Hawaiian friend's ukulele band and an album is forthcoming and maybe a trip to the NY Ukulele Festival.

Wednesday I had tickets to see the Cowboy Junkies at the Aladdin and invited Shannon, a family friend who knocked on the door 30 years ago as a 14 year old and asked to wheel Sean around the block in an old leather perambulator. She had just moved back to Portland with her 6 year old son after losing her husband nine months ago to overmedication following surgery. We had talked once before and compared notes but this was just a chance to enjoy some music and company in a safe environment. We ate at the Berlin Inn nearby which she enjoyed since her Swiss husband had enjoyed many Swiss/German recipes. The concert was enjoyable and it was a balmy fall night so it made for a nice evening. The weather continued to hold the next night so Rick & I hit the tennis court for the second week in a row for some polite tennis. Now that we're getting in the groove, the weather is turning, but we're hoping for one more good week.

Friday was another concert, this time with Anita at a new venue in NE Portland, the Alberta Rose, to see Tracy Grammer. I went over to fix Anita's computer and we ate over there at Applebees while traffic died down since doors didn't open until 7:30 for an 8:30 show. Lucy Kaplansky opened and then Tracy Grammer performed. She and Dave Carter were an amazing fold duo who met in the late 1990's and performed together until his sudden death after a jog while they were on tour in New England in mid 2002. She spent 20 minutes sharing what is was like to lose a soul mate and described her on-going process of recovery which I felt was spoken directly to me and than sanf "The Verdant Mile" which she wrote just after his death. I've always appreciated good song-writing and storytelling and she provided a great performance. Speaking of songwriters, Rick and I have tickets for Lightfoot in November..

Saturday was intended to be a gold day, but I awoke to rain and canceled the outing with Denny and Rick. I dealt with some of my domestic duties and then aught portions of the Pac 10 football games. Rick & Diane invited me over to join Diane's mom for dinner at 6:30 and then they toyed with me during a round of Scrabble. I briefly had a glimpse of 2nd place before being put in my place for not minding my P's & Q's.

Sunday was a drizzly Farmers Market set up and then I rushed back to talk Dave & Mary to the Self Realization Fellowship Center based on the teachings of Parmahansa Yogananda. Mary's mother was a devotee and Mary attend as a child so her expriences and illuminating and insightful. Yogananda's teaching encourages meditation and reflection to understand the true nature of God and honors all paths with particular commentary on Christ's teaching some common threads of belief. Dianna & I had attended a few times in the past and I'll continue to go periodically since Dave & Mary can no longer drive.

A new week ahead ending with a walk in support of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention next Sunday that Judy has organized. (http://www.afsp.donordrive.com/ and search for Team Dianna in Portland Oregon) There no cost to join the walk which will start at 2:00 PM on Sunday Oct 17th.

The walk continues... Happy 101010...